From the Left: First Impressions are Everything (Opinion)

By Dave Mulligan

As the alien ship accelerated skyward and left the highest wisps of earth’s fragile atmosphere, the otherworldly captain reflected on their abbreviated visit.

“What an odd experience,” he thought to himself, although in a language unrecognizable to any resident of this particular galaxy. “What a shame to have come all this way, only to encounter a race of beings so utterly shallow and uninspired.”

He remained fixated on a particular moment, when earth’s Great Leader approached him and his surface crew during the aborted greeting ceremony. The intergalactic translator device conveyed the orange-faced, strange-haired earthing leader’s sentiments in real time.

“Welcome to the greatest planet ever. Believe me, it’s the greatest. What planet are you from? Are the women hot there?”

As his gleaming ship flashed past the sun, the star man shook his bumpy, tentacled head slowly as he relived the disappointing exchange.

The little, blue planet had appeared so promising, he thought to himself. It seemed such a shame to have left so abruptly after having traveled a billion light years to deliver the Universal Cancer Cure (UCC) and Planetary Love & Peace Device (PL&PD).

He quickly checked his space map for a more worthy planetary candidate and stomped his eight-toed foot on the accelerator.

Dave Mulligan is a local Reno resident of over 25 years. He is a published author (Mulligan’s Wake), television producer and a left-leaning political activist. He lives happily on the Truckee River and is the married father of three (his most important role, according to Dave).

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  1. uhhhh yeah…
    So then I guess.. (using your logic) The previous admin would have been….
    “So….. your Green huh… do you oppress the darker greens? How many sexes? Wait. I dont need to know that. we only have one bathroom anyway… And of course….. this is a “gun free zone” so ANY weapons you have, you will turn them over NOW (along with some trivial tax money of course for stepping on our soil)…… ANd if your here on behalf of any deity, well your outta here”

  2. Much the same experience as foreign leaders and diplomats have upon encounter with 45 . . . a profound disappointment coupled with disgust. Stuck on our shared orb, they have no option but to play the man.

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