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A tale from the Middle Earth investment portfolio (humor)

Date:

My friends, as I write this, the debauchery of the Eastern Alliance has now become the law of the land. The forces of Lord Neokeynes are once again setting about to ravage our little hamlets and plunder the bounty of our wholesome toil.

It is not hatred nor avarice that animates the inhabitants of the countryside, but time and circumstance. We do not join this battle for glory; merely to disown ourselves of false and misleading wizardry. But, my friends, however askance we may look upon the Eastern Alliance, we must not be forgetful of our primary duty. I speak, of course, of the preservation of that which we leave behind amidst our humble homes, for that is where our true strength resides. Therefore, let us gaze upon the Mystic Cloud Pool and find guidance.

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There is alignment. Lord Neokeynes’ treachery will only make us stronger. If the Great Bear Nank were to strike now, the Golden Horde would surely overwhelm him and the treasures of the Walled Street would be ours.

And what, oh Cloud Pool, what has become of the Silver Militia? Have they recovered from their past defeat?

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They have ascended the high plateau and are encamped there. Wherever the Golden Horde goes, the Silver Militia will follow. And what is more, they have a score to settle with the High Priestess Psychology.

Yes, we are strong. But, is it enough? We should call on the Copper Wizard. The Copper Wizard can tell us many wondrous things. Stand aside while I recite the incantation.*

I hear some people been talkin’ me down,
Bring up my name, pass it ’round.
They don’t mention happy times
They do their thing,
I’ll do mine.

Ooh baby, that’s hard to change
I can’t tell them how to feel.
Some get stoned, some get strange,
Sooner or later
it all gets real.

Walk on

(Poof)

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Hmm, Lord Neokeyes appears to be near the height of his power. But what of his supplies oh wondrous Wizard?

(Poof)

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Interesting. This will indeed be a close fight, but the signs are in our favor. Spread the word, ’Gather your arms and gird your loins’, the hour approaches.

To be continued (maybe)
*Incantation lyrics from “Walk On” by Neil Young

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