Submitted by Christie Kalkowski
Years ago, I had the honor of serving as a local crisis hotline volunteer, and today, I am highlighting stalking’s overwhelming hidden hurts and harms to raise awareness and increase understanding.
Nevada ranks third (44%) nationally in domestic violence, including stalking, just behind Kentucky at 45% and Oklahoma at 49%. These numbers represent people and loved ones in this community.
Experts refer to stalking as “slow-motion homicide” because it’s closely connected with legal violence; 76% of murdered women were first stalked by an intimate partner (IP). The CDC also defines stalking as a perpetrator’s use of a pattern of harassing or threatening tactics that are both unwanted and cause fear or safety concerns.
Whatever the setting, the reality of these stats is startling:
- 19.3 million women and 5.1 million men have been stalked in their lifetime.
- 44% of Nevada women and 33% of men experience IP physical violence, sexual violence and stalking in their lifetimes.
- For many years, NV ranked first for domestic violence fatalities.
In 2017, Nevada ranked fourth in femicide. IPs committed 56% of these femicides, and of these, 67% were killed with firearms. Stalking is not just about sending flowers or love letters. Victims may experience any or all of these tactics by their stalkers:
- Being subjected to repeated and unwanted contacts via texts, social media, emails, calls and gifts
- Being followed uninvited to homes, schools, workplaces or public spaces
- Being surveilled by geotags, trackers (like Reno’s mayor), location services, spyware and listening tools
- Being blackmailed with threats to defame
- Trespassing into homes and cars, also possibly damaging new IP’s property or harming the IP
- Hacking inboxes or stealing physical mail
- Getting catfished or using fake IDs to spy, and
- Asking others — neighbors, coworkers, friends or family — to harass.
Stalkers desire victim contact and control, and they seek to humiliate, frighten, manipulate, embarrass or take revenge on victims. Most victims are trying to end a relationship with an IP, often after abuse or a divorce.
The connection between stalking and sexual assault is that perpetrators often groom victims through information gathering, surveillance and voyeurism; 31% of women stalked by their IP were also sexually assaulted by that IP. In a 2007 college women’s survey, of 75% who had experienced stalking behaviors, 11% also reported stalking, physical assault and rape or sexual assault.
Along with fear and the possibility of injury from assault, research has shown that victims suffer from a wide range of physical, psychological, occupational, social and general lifestyle effects. Financial impacts may include lost wages due to sick leave, leaving jobs or changing careers, and expenses incurred from legal fees, improving home security, repairing damaged property, medical and psychological treatment, breaking rental leases and even having to relocate.
Only a dismal 7.7% of stalkers are convicted and sentenced. Most victims — about 70% — forego reporting for fear of not being taken seriously.
If you are being stalked, have witnessed it or have been asked to stalk someone, immediately file a police report. If it isn’t written down, it didn’t happen in the eyes of the law. Need help with rights? Family lawyers are often the most versed in local, state and federal stalking statutes.
Need help? The Domestic Violence 24-hour support hotline is 775-329-4150, or click here. The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is 988; the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233; and TTY is 1-800-787-3224.
Christie Kalkowski spent almost 35 years in federal service, including 15 in Nevada public affairs where she showcased recreational opportunities and natural resource stories important to its citizens.
