SUBMITTED BY COMMUNITY CHEST
Oct. 1 marked the beginning of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a campaign dedicated to opening the discussion about the impact that domestic violence has not only on the family but the community at large.
How many times have we said or heard, “It’s best to stay out of it, it’s not our problem” or “She must have done something to deserve that” or “If it was really that bad, she would leave.” And a favorite: “It takes two to tango.”
It is a common misconception that domestic violence is just a “family issue.” It is seen across all socio economic groups, races, cultures and genders. It not only affects the dignity, safety and well being of the victim, but it also has a ripple effect that touches all in a community.
There was a time in history when “wife beating” was an accepted practice in western culture. A common interpretation of the “rule of thumb” was that a husband was given permission to beat his wife with a stick providing it was no larger than the width of his thumb. Many laws viewed a wife as an extension of her husband, and as such, he could be held liable for her actions; therefore, permitting him to use force in an effort to keep his wife “in line.” Given that we no longer live in medieval Europe, this law and the ideology that resulted from this decree are now antiquated. We are at a point where we need to catch up with the times.
Currently, domestic violence is defined as a pattern of behaviors used to exert control over another person. This includes intimidation tactics, physical aggression, name- calling, causing the victim to doubt his/herself, humiliation and turning family and friends away from the victim in an effort to isolate the person.
Domestic violence attacks the integrity of the individual and eventually erodes self-esteem, leaving the victim prone to other issues such as mental health disorders, poor work performance, lower wage earnings, problems with parenting and substance abuse. And this list doesn’t even include the broken bones and possible loss of life. Domestic violence is a problem that needs to be recognized as a community concern, not just a private family matter.
It is a myth that victims must have done something to deserve this kind of treatment or that they somehow contributed to their own abuse. Nobody wants to live a life of fear: fear of physical or emotional harm, fear of being dehumanized and discredited, and fear for the safety of their children. And most importantly, there should never be a reason good enough that gives someone the permission to mistreat another human being.
Be a source of compassion and empathy; be a part of the solution, not the problem. Reach out to those suffering. There are many ways to get involved and make a difference in the community to address domestic violence. Probably the most impactful way to accomplish this is by reframing one’s thinking when it comes to domestic violence. The bottom line: families that are victimized by domestic violence are our neighbors, the playmates of our children, the person in line at the grocery store, caregivers of our elderly and children, but first and foremost, human beings. When one suffers, we all suffer.
What is Community Chest, Inc?
CCI is a nonprofit based in Virgina City that provides a diverse range of services to Storey and Lyon county area residents which include counseling, family advocacy, youth enrichment programs and employment placement assistance. For more information about Community Chest and domestic violence awareness, contact therapist Adrienne Sutherland at 847-9311 x 101.
